11.07.2015

Secret numbers, magic Cinderella, beauty contest

In last night's dream, I used Floam (remember THAT?) that was pink, purple, and blue to dye my hair. I just had to rub it on my wet hair, and it would lather a bit and leave color behind. Super easy! But I wondered if my amazing stylist friend would be upset with me for using a toy to color my hair. It looked fantastic!
Later, I was alternately Cinderella/her friend helping her to get to a beauty contest on time. Along the way, we shopped a Macy's sale for dresses, then got stranded in a field where we got a magic message to wait for someone whose number was 9199. We had magic wands and could have probably moved along, but you don't ignore a magic message without expecting the worst. A dozen characters showed up and stayed, or came through for the next 7 days. I had to find out each of their numbers, but none were the right one. There was always a way to find their number without asking them. Some people carried books with them, or a sign, or a receipt, which I would casually ask to see, then scour for 9199. There was one government-type, black-suited man whose number on his name tag was 9175635257402629, which was funny.
We finally found 9199, though I don't remember what he was or looked like. When we got to the auditorium for the beauty contest, we rushed into the wings and heard a gasp from the audience. Cinderella and I then realized that her new red dress, though lovely, was identical to the woman who was currently on stage. But why did the audience gasp? We were in the wings, and still unseen. Looking around, we saw that the previous contestant also wore red, and the one before her. How gauche!
Contestants also all had a male partner to complete their fashionable pair and escort them on and off-stage, but we had none. Cinderella and I decided that was no big deal, because I could zap myself a lovely dress and be her female partner, no problem. She was resigned to just go through with the competition, despite not caring about it one whit, but I didn't want her to blend in with the rest; she was CINDERELLA! She was probably supposed to win the contest, right? Everyone else in the building was just a regular person, not a famous character. So right before she parted the curtains to walk onstage, I sneaked my magic wand out, and secretly used my magic (though weak since I was still learning), to zap the center of the back of her dress. Slowly, the dress started to change to a glittery steel color. (I had debated making it white, since there was some kind of bridal theme advertised as part of the competition, or blue, because that's Cinderella's classic look, but decided to really wow the audience by defying expectations.)
Because my magic was weak, I was disappointed to see the dress didn't change all at once, so as she walked forward, the side facing the audience was still red with fuzzy white trim (very Santa Claus). They wouldn't see she was different! But as she walked across the stage, the sparkly dark grey kept spreading from the back, and created a gorgeous transformation that ended up making a bigger impact than if she had simply walked out in a grey dress.
I had changed my dress to a sparkly light blue to give a subtle callback to classic Cinderella, and we looked breathtakingly lovely as we walked the stage together.
I don't know who won. Something happened that made us leave, but that was very Cinderella of Cinderella, to move on to the next issue that needed her without caring about personal gain.
Later, there was a queen who was sometimes wicked that helped Cinderella and me get somewhere by shrinking us and carrying us in her glass of champagne, which was almost empty. It was like a fizzy cold hot tub. I didn't trust the queen, but Cinderella was willing to risk it, so I went along.
After that, the events are too quickly devolving in my memory to record.

1.03.2013

dinosaurs don't eat mandarin oranges

Last night I dreamed that I had an aquarium full of unique fish that I forgot to feed because it was hidden in my closet.  So I added more water (a few inches had evaporated), some fish food, and saw there were already a lot of mandarin orange slices floating around.  Once water and food was added, the water started churning and frothing, and four of the fish immediately grew into small dinosaurs: a pinky-coral Tyrannosaurus, a blue and light-green Brachiosaurus, a darker green Ankylosaurus, and one more that I don't remember.
Right away I took the cover off the aquarium because it had gotten so full.  The Tyrannosaurus popped out and I was really wary of it, even though all the dinosaurs looked a little cartoon-y and perhaps not realistically intimidating.  The T-Rex was about knee-high on me.  I tried to shoo it back into the aquarium--while silently apologizing to the rest of the fish and turtles, who were sure to be eaten--when she spoke: "You've got to be kidding!  It's way too crowded in there!"  Uh...okay.  I stammered a lame excuse and ran down the hall to find the Brachiosaur and Ankylosaur, who had calmly wandered off in search of plant life.  Shutting the bedroom door behind me, I made immediate plans for the dinos.
First, I wanted to take the Tyrannosaur to the University of Minnesota to be studied by their science departments.  I figured they could put up with her attitude and eventually extinguish her if necessary.  Cruel, yes, but also helpful to the science world.  I had no way of knowing how large or aggressive she would grow to be and didn't want that responsibility.
The Ankylosaur was given to a pet shop, though he probably should have gone to the University as well.  But I liked him and didn't want him to spend his life in a lab.
I just let the other dinosaur wander off, deciding to give him the chance to determine his own destiny.  I think things worked out fine for him.
The Brachiosaurus was for me.  He was calm and friendly and excited to be out of the tiny aquarium.  His head was at least as high as mine, and I definitely wanted to take a ride on his back.  When I got back from getting the Tyrannosaur to the U (actually, I think I took her to the sidewalk outside my house and delegated some neighborhood kids to do it because I was so wary of her and her teeth), I ran to the Brachiosaur and jumped on him with lots of hugs.  Then he sighed happily and said, "All I really wanted was a good cuddle."  We laid contentedly for a few minutes, then I jumped up and asked if I could ride naked on his back.  He hesitatingly complied, so I was ecstatic.  Then later he turned into an ex-boyfriend of mine and it got really weird so I'm leaving those details out.

4.17.2012

BASTA: The film

A few nights ago, there was a moment in my dreams that looked like a movie's title screen:


BASTA:
Eat an Austrian Beard Sideways


Just that, overlain over a blurry nature scene or sky for a few seconds, then it faded into a totally different dream.

4.03.2012

Freezer-defrosting bears

In last night's dream, I was visiting my parents in one of their old houses in Nebraska.  When I was on the front porch getting ready to go inside, I glanced over into the neighbor's yard and saw a metal sign on a post.  It was roughly the same size as a handicapped parking sign.  The sign said something like CAUTION: MAY BE BEARS at the top. Under that was a drawing of a grizzly's head, roaring, with one tear rolling down its face. At the bottom, the sign said something like ELDERLY 2 EDITHS in black letters on yellow.
I asked my mom about the sign, and she informed me that their old-lady neighbor and her roommate had acquired a bear for their house.  Well, this is clearly a horrible idea, so I asked why in the world she would do that.  Turns out the bear was going to help them keep their freezer defrosted.  "What the crap can the bear do?!" In the dream, freezers had a venting system that hooked up to the outside of the house.  The bear would be able to help because it could listen for the wind whistling or birds flapping around outside the vent to make sure defrosting wasn't necessary and the ductwork was open.  It couldn't open the doors or anything.  Also, the bear wouldn't be a huge, full-sized grizzly.  The one pictured in the hypothetical set-up I imagined in the dream didn't quite come up to the kitchen counters when standing on all fours.  So somehow the old lady had a supplier of sort-of-smallish bears. Still, it was a preposterous plan.
Edith, the neighbor, as I assume her name was, also wanted to use the bears as a security measure (which I had suspected, since bears seem like overkill for fridge care).  She happened to own other rental properties throughout town, small houses she rented to families or whatever.  Remember that the sign said that there "may be" bears.
"Oh, well maybe that's better," I figured.  Maybe she puts the signs up in all the yards of her properties, but only gets bears for a couple properties, so people know the sign isn't an idle threat.  I really did not want there to be a wild animal next door to my parents' house, because that seemed ridiculously unsafe.
My mom didn't know many details for me, and actually didn't even seem too interested in carrying on the conversation.  But I was livid.  I asked, "Does she know the neighborhood she lives in? Does she understand the population surrounding her house?  Are there small children nearby?" My brother was still in elementary school in the dream, and I knew he did not need to live next to a giant bear.  Plus, there are, like, a billion stories about why it doesn't work to have bears or wild animals as pets.
I started listing things that Edith should have done before instituting her bear-freezer-defroster plan.  "Did she even do a poll?  Does she know the population?  Two-block radius.  All she'd need to do is poll a two-block radius around her house and find out about the people who were going to have to be living by this bear."
My mom wasn't very helpful, and sort of hemmed and hawed. "Uhh, I don't think so...I don't really know..."  She could see I was extremely upset about the whole situation, so was just being passive so I could have my say and work through my anger.
"Well, I will go over there, and I will tell her.  This is unsafe!  This is ridiculous!  If she can't use a computer, I will.  I will help her with the poll questions.  She can tell me the questions she wants to ask and I will type them up.  I will pass them out door to door.  This is not right that people don't know there's going to be a bear living on this block!"
That's pretty much all I can remember.  I never vocalized it in the dream, but I was also thinking that clearly the woman next door was going to end up killed by the bear.  The fridge I pictured was a 1970s model and avocado green with fake wood handles.

Click here to download the audio file of me telling the dream right after I woke up.